The ultimate guide to finding new and fragrant ways to channel your frustrations and fuel your revenge fantasies with some common (and not-so-common) vengeful plants, as well as suggested bouquets to blight your nemeses.
Is there anything more savage than an archly composed bouquet? The Victorians didn’t think so, which is why their flower symbols weren’t just endearing—they were also cheeky, rude, and downright hostile. This illustrated floriography will help you choose the perfect Floral Estrangement for your situation, such as: The “Maybe You Shouldn't Have Given Me Your Phone Password” (Yellow Chrysanthemum, Birdsfoot Trefoil, Basil, Yellow Rose, Tansy) The “Still Thinking about the $1K I Spent to Be a Bridesmaid at Your Destination Wedding” (Black-Eyed Susan, Birdsfoot Trefoil, Delphinium, Orange Lily) The “His Mommy Issues Are Now Your Problem” (Withered White Rose, Pine, Delphinium) With incredible, subtly hostile illustrations of flowers throughout, this is a sumptuous, decadent, guilty pleasure of a gift or self-purchase. As a modern bard says, “Don’t get sad, get even.”
A FRESH TAKE FLOWER BOOK: It’s the perfect time for a book on the language of flowers that focuses on the darker side of its symbolism. For anyone who fantasizes about sending your awful ex a message on Valentine’s Day, this book includes hilarious (and informative!) tips for you.
MODERN LOVE (AND HATE): This hilarious guide to flowers one should never send is pitch-perfect for iconoclasts who love to buck the trends and fans of such vengeful entertainments as Bridgerton and Do Revenge.
Perfect for: Fans of Wicked Plants and Floriography: An Illustrated Guide to the Victorian Language of Flowers People who hate Valentine’s Day Gift-giving to a recently dumped friend or relative Botany enthusiasts The eternally vengeful and embittered
Rebecca Fishbein is a freelance writer and the author of Good Things Happen to People You Hate. You can find her writing in the New York Times, the Washington Post, Vulture, Jezebel, and The Cut, among others. She lives in Brooklyn with her houseplants.
